Scope creep. Missed deadlines. Executive pushback. Team friction. These conversations define a project manager’s career. Handle them well, and you build trust, protect your team, and deliver results. Handle them poorly, and projects spiral, relationships fracture, and credibility evaporates.
The words you use matter more than you think. The difference between a conversation that builds trust and one that destroys it often comes down to a single phrase.
Here are the scripts every PM should have ready.
The Scope Creep Script
The stakeholder drive-by is a classic. Someone catches you in the hallway or drops a “quick” request in Slack. They’re being friendly. The request seems reasonable. And if you say yes without thinking, you’ve just committed your team to work they can’t deliver.
“You’re not alone if this feels familiar. Recent industry analysis drawing on PMI’s Pulse of the Profession shows that scope creep remains widespread: low‑maturity organizations see it in nearly half of their projects, while even highly mature organizations report it in about a third—more than enough to quietly derail schedules and budgets if it isn’t managed deliberately.”
What not to say: “Sure, we can fit that in.”
This is how projects die. Every yes without a corresponding tradeoff is a promise you’ll break later, when the stakes are higher and the trust is gone.
What to say instead:
“Thanks for flagging this. It sounds like it could be valuable. Before I can commit to adding it, I need to assess the impact on our current commitments. Can you send me a quick email with the details? I’ll review it against our scope and timeline and get back to you by Thursday with options.”
If they push for an immediate answer:
“I want to give you an honest answer, not a fast one. If I say yes without checking, I might be making a promise I can’t keep. Give me 48 hours to do this right.”
Why this works: You’re not saying no. You’re saying “not yet” and putting the ball back in their court. Asking for an email creates a paper trail and buys you time. Most “urgent” requests become less urgent when they require effort to document.
Research from PMI identifies five root causes of scope creep, and most trace back to the same issue: decisions made in the moment without assessing impact. This script forces that assessment.
The Missed Deadline Script
You’ve realized the project isn’t going to hit its deadline. The single biggest mistake PMs make here is waiting too long to have this conversation. Every day you delay makes the conversation harder and the solution space smaller.
What not to say: “So, the team has been working really hard, and we’ve made great progress on the integration, and the requirements were complex, and…”
Stop burying the lead. Bad news first, context second. As Harvard Business School’s guide to difficult conversations notes, 70% of employees avoid these discussions entirely—hoping problems will resolve themselves. They rarely do.
What to say instead:
“I need to share some difficult news about the project timeline. Based on our current progress and the issues we’ve encountered, we’re not going to hit the March 15 deadline. I’m projecting we’ll be ready by April 5.”
Then stop talking. Let them react. Don’t fill the silence with explanations or apologies. Their first reaction will pass. Wait for them to ask questions before continuing.
When they ask what happened:
“Three factors contributed to where we are. First, the integration took 40% longer than estimated—we discovered undocumented dependencies. Second, we lost Sarah to the infrastructure emergency for two weeks. Third, requirements weren’t finalized until three weeks later than planned.”
“I want to be clear: I own the overall delivery. I should have built more buffer into the estimate, and I should have escalated the requirements delay sooner. That’s on me.”
Why this works: You’re being direct without being defensive. You’re taking appropriate ownership without groveling. And you’re giving them the information they need to understand the situation and make decisions.
The authors of Crucial Conversations—the definitive book on high-stakes dialogue—call this “separating facts from stories.” You state what happened, acknowledge your role, and leave space for problem-solving rather than blame.
The Executive Pushback Script
An executive wants something you believe is a bad idea. Maybe they want to launch before the product is ready. Maybe they’re pushing for a timeline that will burn out your team.
Here’s the counterintuitive truth: most executives respect people who push back intelligently. They’re surrounded by yes-people, and they often can’t tell who’s telling them the truth. The key word is “intelligently.” Pushback that is emotional or poorly reasoned will hurt you. Pushback that is calm, data-driven, and solution-oriented will build your credibility.
Harvard professor Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety shows that teams perform better when members feel safe to speak up—even to challenge leadership. But that safety has to be earned through how you communicate, not just what you communicate.
What not to say: “That’s not possible” or “We can’t do that.”
What to say instead:
“I want to make sure I deliver what you need. Let me share what I’m seeing and then I’d love your input.”
“Based on the work required and our current capacity, my best estimate is that we can deliver the core features by your date, or the full scope by mid-April. I don’t see a path to full scope by March 1 without significant quality risk.”
“I could be wrong about this. What am I missing? Is there context I don’t have that would change the picture?”
Why this works: “What am I missing?” is magic. It shows intellectual humility, and it invites them to share context you genuinely might not have. Sometimes executives know things you don’t. Sometimes they realize they don’t have a good answer. Either way, you’ve opened a door instead of building a wall.
As Edmondson explains in The Fearless Organization, the best teams create environments where candor is expected—but that candor must come with curiosity, not confrontation.
The Team Performance Script
Someone on your team isn’t performing. Maybe they’re missing deadlines. Maybe the quality of their work is slipping. As the PM, you need to address it, but you may not be their direct manager, which makes it complicated.
What not to say: “You have a bad attitude” or “You’re not pulling your weight.”
Never attack personality. Describe specific behaviors you observed. Behavior can be changed; personality judgments put people on the defensive. HBR’s guidance on difficult workplace conversations emphasizes this distinction: focus on impact, not intent.
What to say instead:
“I want to talk with you about something I’ve noticed on the project. Over the past three sprints, you’ve completed about 60% of the story points you committed to. In Sprint 12, the API work was four days late, which pushed back integration testing.”
Then pause. Let them respond.
“I’m not trying to be critical. I want to understand what’s going on and see if there’s something we can do differently. What’s your perspective on this?”
Why this works: You’ve stated facts, not interpretations. You’ve invited their perspective. And you’ve positioned yourself as a problem-solver, not a critic. Most performance issues have root causes: unclear requirements, personal issues, skill gaps, bad processes. You won’t find them by attacking. You’ll find them by asking.
This approach aligns with what researchers call the “three conversations” model: every difficult discussion involves what happened, feelings about it, and identity implications. Address all three, and you’re far more likely to reach resolution.
The Phrase That Changes Everything
If there’s only one phrase to memorize, it would be this:
“I want to hit your goals here.”
Six words that transform any difficult conversation. When you say this, you signal that you’re on their side, not fighting them. You reframe the conversation from adversarial to collaborative. You remind them—and yourself—that you have a shared objective.
Use it when pushing back on scope: “I want to hit your goals here. Let me show you what it would take.”
Use it when delivering bad news: “I want to hit your goals here. That’s why I’m bringing this to you now, while we have time to solve it.”
Use it when negotiating resources: “I want to hit your goals here. Here’s what I need to make that happen.”
The Real Secret
The best PMs don’t have fewer difficult conversations, they have more. They raise concerns earlier. They push back more often. They address performance issues faster.
The difference is they’ve learned that difficult conversations aren’t obstacles to project success. Rather, they are the work of project success. The PM who avoids them doesn’t have fewer problems; they just have problems that have been left to fester.
Research consistently shows that teams with higher psychological safety—where people feel comfortable raising concerns—dramatically outperform those where problems stay hidden. Your willingness to have these conversations doesn’t just help your project. It shapes your entire team’s culture.
Every script follows the same underlying principle: be direct, be calm, and give the other person a path forward. You’re not attacking them. You’re not making excuses. You’re presenting reality and collaborating on a solution.
The more you practice these conversations, the easier they become. Not because they stop being difficult, but because you develop confidence that you can handle them. That confidence changes how others perceive you—and ultimately, how successful your projects become.
Your projects are counting on you. Go have some difficult conversations.
Further Reading
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High — Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler
- The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety — Amy C. Edmondson
- PMI Pulse of the Profession 2023 — Project Management Institute
- How to Handle Difficult Conversations at Work — Harvard Business Review
- 8 Ways to Get a Difficult Conversation Back on Track — Harvard Business Review
